Tonight the Mister and I were given one of the best compliments that could be dished out to us. We were told that we were someone’s favorite married couple. Then she asked us how we do it: how we stay in love after so many years. (We’ve been married for 16 years, dated for 5 years before that & have known each other for 25 years.) It wasn’t an “oh my gosh, I could never have what you guys have” question. It was just a matter of fact question. It thrills me to know that other people can tell we’re in love. We’re not constantly making googly eyes at each other and we don’t make it a habit to play tonsil hockey in front of others either but somehow it just shows up in our everyday life.
I told her that not every day is swoon worthy. Sometimes they’re just regular days but then sometimes…sometimes I get “wow” moments. Moments that I can’t believe I married that 18 year old boy from long, long ago. Then I compared it to a child. When you first have a baby, you can’t help but stare at him, counting all the fingers and toes. You want to watch his every breath and you don’t want to miss a single thing he does. But as time goes on, you get used to the fact that you have a child. Counting his fingers and toes is not something you constantly do. Do you love that baby any less? Of course not. That love deepens and becomes more special than the first day you laid eyes on your child. It’s still love. It’s just different.
I could have told her that we work hard at our marriage but that’s not the case either. We’re simply blessed that our marriage is really easy. I wanted to marry someone who was my best friend and that’s just what I did. I not only love him, I really, really like him. That helps more than you’d imagine.
It could be that we married young; before either of us got stuck in a groove being alone and having things a particular way. It could be that we didn’t let sex have a part in our relationship until we were married. It could be that his parents were divorced and he didn’t want to end up divorced, too. And it doesn’t hurt that I have wonderful role models either (my parents just celebrated 42 years of bliss). Maybe it’s the perfect storm, I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m totally, head-over-heels in love with the man sitting next to me reading his iPad. Wow.